Test Driving Theology

Have you ever wondered if it’s ok to have doubts about your faith?  Have you ever questioned the beliefs you grew up with…or the things you’ve been taught?  Have you ever wondered “is this really how it all works?”

Occasionally, people come to see me who have doubts, or questions.  That doesn’t surprise me.  It’s a good thing.  God gave us minds to think and ask questions.  That’s how we’re wired.  But what does surprise me, is when people tell me how they feel guilty for having questions…guilt for wondering…guilt for doubting. 

Today, we’re exploring not one, but two powerful stories from scripture; two moments that speak to the heart of what it means to follow Christ even in the midst of our questions and doubts. One is the story of the disciple Thomas, also known as “Doubting Thomas.” The other, from the book of Acts, is the story of the apostles standing firm before a council that demanded their silence. 

These two stories, taken together, reveal something really important about our life of faith, and the role doubt plays.

First, let’s spend some time with “Doubting” Thomas.  I’ll be honest:  I’ve always thought that Thomas gets a bit of a bad rap in this story.  For all eternity, his legacy…his reputation…is one of doubt.  What did he do to earn this reputation?  Well, he asked questions.  He wondered.  That’s all.  He wanted to be sure of what he was seeing.  

Remember that Thomas wasn’t there when Jesus appeared to the other disciples after his resurrection. He hadn’t seen Jesus yet.  The last time he’d seen Jesus was on the cross…dead.  So, imagine his confusion, his heartache, and yes, his doubt, when his friends claimed, “No! Jesus is alive!  We have seen him with our own eyes!”  

Thomas needed to experience this for himself.  He needed to see, to touch, to look Jesus in the eye. And really, who can blame him?  If I was told a story of this magnitude…I’d also want to see it for myself!

So, when Jesus appears again, he meets Thomas exactly where he’s at, in the place of his questioning, in his doubt. He invites Thomas to touch his wounds, saying, “Do not doubt.  See, and believe.” Jesus’ words are an invitation; a gentle call into deeper faith. Thomas does see…he touches Jesus…he recognizes him and his wounds, and he responds with one of the clearest and most profound statements of faith found anywhere in the scriptures. Thomas looks at Jesus and says simply: “My Lord and my God!” 

You see, when we think of doubt, we often think of as a sign of weakness, or spiritual failure. But Thomas’s story reminds us that doubt isn’t a barrier but a doorway…it’s an opportunity to wrestle with God and come away changed, with a deeper, more authentic faith. Doubt urges us to seek, to question, to not simply accept easy answers. Jesus doesn’t condemn Thomas’s doubt; he welcomes it as part of Thomas’s journey toward authentic belief.

The theologian, Frederick Buechner has said that “Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.” Our doubts are what move our faith forward, encouraging growth rather than stagnation.

So, this leads us into our second story, from the book of Acts. The apostles have been arrested for teaching about Jesus. You see, the religious leaders had assumed that once Jesus was crucified, this ragtag group of misfit followers would simply evaporate.  But they haven’t.  

In fact, as they continue to meet, and to teach, and as they perform miracles in Jesus’ name, that have started to gain traction.  More and more people are joining this little community.  And the Pharisees and other leaders have noticed.  So, these disciples are brought before the high priest and his advisors, who demand the disciples stop what they are doing…healing…teaching…preaching…sharing stories of what they have seen. But their response is bold and unwavering: “We must obey God rather than human authority.” They are threatened, yet they stand firm, driven by a clear sense of purpose and conviction.

Notice something important here. These disciples are the same ones who, just weeks earlier, cowered behind locked doors, fearful and uncertain after Jesus’ death. These are the disciples who struggled with their own doubts and uncertainties. But in our Gospel reading for today, here they stand, clear-eyed and courageous, fully prepared to face the consequences of their faithfulness.

So how did this transformation happen? Well, it wasn’t by denying their doubts but by embracing them. It happened because they met the risen Christ, who allowed them to question, to wonder and to grapple with what they believed. Through this experience, they became witnesses not just to Christ’s resurrection but also to his patience, compassion, and understanding.

I’ve got to be honest…I love a good doubter!  I love people who wonder…who struggle with their faith…who just aren’t sure, and who are trying to make sense of the world around them.

I love conversations with people who have doubts, because their questions force me…force all of us…to think…and to wonder for ourselves.

Sometimes we think of faith and doubt as being these polar opposites.  That doubt means our faith is weak. 

But here’s what I’ve noticed:  When someone with questions and doubts, lives with them…struggles with them…wrestles with them…nine times out of ten, their faith winds up stronger in the long run.  When we enter conversations, when we really listen, and when we are honest in our prayers, our faith is reshaped into something stronger, richer, and more authentic. Our doubts become the pathway to a faith that we can genuinely call our own.

The story of Jesus and Thomas today shows us that the opposite of faith is not doubt.  The opposite of faith…is certainty.  That day, in front of those religious leaders, the disciples stood firm because their faith had been tested, shaped, and strengthened through their struggles.  The high priest and his advisors?  The ones judging the disciples?  They were filled with certainty.  

And when someone is filled with certainty, then there is not room within their heart for questions, or learning, or for growth.

• Certainty means a faith that never wonders or questions.
• Certainty means that you don’t take other perspectives into account.
• Certainty means that you don’t think critically about your faith, or about what you are taught.  
• Certainty can border on arrogance.  
• And sometimes, people who are “certain,” wind up being judgmental of those who do wonder…or who have doubts.

We live in a world that loves to be certain.  Look at the rhetoric we hear from commentators, politicians, on social media…we are certain of our religion…certain in our opinions…certain of our politics.  Certain that we are right…and that “they” (whoever they are) are wrong. 

Our world could use a little less certainty…and a lot more wonder.  Or, to quote the prophet, Ted Lasso, “Be curious…not judgmental.”

In our Gospel, Jesus is showing Thomas and the other disciples what it is to be faithful.  To be faithful means to embrace doubts…to walk through them…to let them shape you. 

Today, in our own lives, we also face moments when our faith is challenged…moments when doubt creeps in or when pressures tempt us to compromise our principles. 

Maybe you’ve been in a situation where standing firm in your convictions seemed daunting; when speaking truth, offering forgiveness, or standing against injustice felt risky or difficult. At those times, the voice of doubt can be loud: “Am I really up to this? Is God really present in this moment?”

Today, Jesus reminds you that doubt is not something you must fear; it is part of your spiritual growth. You can bring your honest questions and uncertainties to God without shame, or fear of rejection. Jesus meets you where you are at, and invites you to touch and see, to experience his grace and presence firsthand.

Fifth graders, that’s what today is all about for you.  Today you receive your first communion.  That means that today, when you reach out your hand and receive the bread and the wine, and you touch them to your lips, you are touching the real presence of Jesus in a way that is new and different.  You are coming into physical contact with the holy.  And you will experience God’s grace in a new way.  You won’t completely understand it, and you probably have questions.  That makes sense.  You should.  I do.  Your parents do.  But your questions…your wonderings…they don’t mean it’s not real. It is.  Your questions and wonderings just mean that you’ve started a new chapter in your faith.

Like those disciples, when we’re called to stand firm in our beliefs, it isn’t simply our strength we’re relying on…it is the strength of Christ within us, forged in the honesty of our questions and the sincerity of our doubts. The strength of our beliefs doesn’t come from certainty without struggle; it comes precisely from having wrestled with those doubts and emerged stronger and clearer in our faith.

As Martin Luther King Jr. reminded us, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Doubt reminds us that faith is a journey, one step at a time, sometimes in darkness, trusting that Christ walks with us.

So today, as you navigate your own doubts, your own uncertainties, hear this clearly: Christ does not reject your questions. Instead, he invites you closer, just as he did with Thomas. Your doubts are welcome…they are opportunities to deepen your trust, to strengthen your resolve, and to refine your convictions.

May we, like Thomas, bring our honest doubts to Jesus, knowing he meets us with grace and patience. And may we, like the apostles, stand firm in our beliefs, grounded in a faith tested and proven by experience, and strengthened by the unshakable presence of Jesus, our risen Lord.

Thanks be to God!

Amen.